


Three Boxes

by chasingkerouac



Category: Glee
Genre: AnderBros, Gen, Humor, Puppets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-06 00:36:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1837930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasingkerouac/pseuds/chasingkerouac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Blaine gets gassed at school and starts hallucinating talking puppets, his parents get concerned.  And Cooper gets really, really amused.  Because that's what brothers do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Boxes

**Author's Note:**

> 5.07 Fic… because surely someone took the poor boy to the doctor afterwards because of puppet hallucinations, right?

Blaine dropped his bag on the floor and collapsed face first onto his bed.  He was exhausted.

But then, being effectively gassed at school will do that to you.

It had taken three days for his parents to question what was going on.  Apparently bringing a puppet of yourself to the dinner table and having it regale the family with explanations of why he'd been late the past couple days (detention), why he'd needed his mom to take the big boxes to the post office (mailing puppets to Kurt), and the near freak out he'd had when he'd run out of green felt (it was the perfect puppet skin color) was enough to worry even his parents.

The worst part, though?  Blaine didn't even realize he had the puppet telling the story.

That got him out of first period the next day and a one way ticket to the doctor's office.  After a quick call to the school, they'd realized what had happened in the corner of the choir room.  He'd spent a little while with an oxygen machine strapped under his nose, which was a different kind of fun from the puppet dreams, but that didn't last.  It seemed to be out of his system now, and he was under doctor's orders to relax... and call him back to schedule more intensive tests if he kept seeing talking puppets.

At least now he knew he wasn't actually losing it.  Mental breaks may involve visions of puppets, but not this time.  Hopefully.  As long as he didn't see them again.

"Blaine, sweetheart, are you alright?" his mother asked as she stood in the doorway of his room. 

"I'm fine, Mom," Blaine mumbled, face buried in his comforter.  "I promise.  I have glee rehearsal after lunch."

"No you don't," his mother insisted.  "You're not going back there today.  You heard Dr. Mitchell.  You're going to take it easy today and we're going to make sure that you're not having visions of puppets anymore."  She shook her head as she crossed the room to open Blaine's window and let in the spring breeze.  "I know I should've questioned it when you stayed up all night and ended up with three boxes of puppets, but I know how you get on your projects," she sighed.  "I'm sorry I didn't ask.  Do you want me to open the second window too or will that be too cold?"

"Three?"  Blaine turned his head to look at his mother, ignoring the question about the window.  "It was two boxes.  One for school, one for my fiancé."

His mother just chuckled, reaching down to ruffle his hair a bit out of the gel as she passed his bed again.  "He's your fiancé?  Really?  I never would've guessed," she said lightly.  "You never mention it."  She paused at the doorway.  "And it was three.  You took one to school and I took two to the post office.  You should try to get some rest, sweetheart.  Take a nap.  Keep the window open for fresh air, maybe turn on some music.  I'll be downstairs when you want a bit of lunch, trying to come up with a good reason for your father not to sue the school system."

Blaine just buried his head once again as the door clicked shut.  Kurt was worth it, really he was, but... things like this would never have happened at Dalton.

His phone chirped, and he fumbled to get it out of his back pocket.  He'd told Kurt he was being sent to the doctor and how sorry he wasn't able to get to New York, but Kurt had class until noon, so he shouldn't be texting back so early.

Nope, Cooper.   _Dad said you went bonkers and spoke through puppets.  Better yet?_

Oh, Cooper.  Never one to beat around the bush.  _Mom took me to the doctor this morning -- I need to rest._   He sent the text and quickly added, _But at least I'm not losing it.  Back home now._

_Way to the look on the bright side!!!_

Blaine smiled.  Ever since Cooper had come back to visit last year they'd been talking more.  It felt more like he had a brother and not just a guy who got all the attractive genes in the family coming by and eating all of their food at Christmas.  He heard his Skype ring and rolled off of the bed to grab his laptop.  Maybe Kurt got out of class early and wanted to check up on him. 

His fiancé really was the best.

He settled back on the comforter, legs crossed with the laptop on his lap, ran a hand through his hair to smooth it, and clicked 'answer'.

Staring back at him was a smiling, green skinned, white t-shirt and leather jacket wearing, swoopy dark haired felt puppet.  "Hi Blainey!" puppet Cooper said brightly, hand up and waving.  "Glad to hear you're feeling better."

Blaine screamed, throwing the laptop back down onto the bed and scrambling to press himself back against the headboard.  "You're not real!" he snapped.  "You are NOT REAL."

"Blaine?" his mom called.  "Is everything okay?"

"It's fine, Mom!" he yelled back.  "I'm not seeing puppets!"  He closed his eyes and shook his head.  "I'm not seeing puppets," he repeated.

The puppet dropped and Cooper's actual, in-the-flesh face popped up onto the screen.  "Jesus Christ, Blainey, what was that?" he asked. "I thought you'd want to see that I got it."

"You got _what_?" Blaine asked.

Cooper lifted puppet Cooper and pointed at it with his free hand.  "You sent me a puppet.  I got it."

Three boxes, Blaine remembers.  One for school, one for Kurt... and one for Cooper in LA.

"I sent you a puppet," Blaine repeated, feeling his heart rate go down as he reminded himself of the additional box.  "I sent you a puppet."

"You sent me a puppet," Cooper agreed.  "Although now I'm wondering if I should burn him, but I'm thinking no.  Turns out that once I got my hand up this little guy, I realized I have an amazing way with kids."

"I... Cooper, I wouldn't word it like that," Blaine said.

"I've been going about it all wrong," Cooper continued.  "I am already a household name in commercials, and obviously the next step is children's shows.  Sure it's not the glamour of dying in a fireball as Channing Tatum's charming and even more charismatic brother--"

"You don't look anything like Channing Tatum."

"--but there's money there," Cooper explained.  "And I'd get my face on lunch boxes.  Who doesn't want their face on lunchboxes?"

"Do they even make lunchboxes like that anymore?" Blaine asked.

"I have to thank you, Blainey," Cooper beamed.  "You've opened up a whole new world of opportunity.  I'm going to be famous."

"I thought you already were famous?" Blaine chuckled.

"Famouser," Cooper corrected.  "Wait... what if we did a freecreditratingtoday.com/savings commercial with puppets?  I'm a genius!"

"I think I'm going to take a nap, Cooper," Blaine insisted.  "But thanks for calling."

"Any time, Blainey," Cooper beamed.  "You know I love you and I'm proud of you.  Even if you got gassed and went nuts and turned your bedroom into the Sesame Workshop."

Blaine tilted his head.  "Is that really how Dad put it?"

"Pretty much," Cooper admitted.  "I'll call back later tonight.  I have an appointment to make an audition video with a guy who's about to blow it up on YouTube."

"I'll talk to you later, Coop," Blaine chuckled as his brother hung up.  He took a deep breath and dropped his head back onto the pillow.  He wasn't going nuts.  He _wasn't_.  It was just Cooper being funny.  Or attempting to be funny.

He'd laugh about it tomorrow.

"He thinks he's a lot funnier than he is."

"Yeah, but he's my brother and I think he'll keep him," Blaine said, turning to answer the Blaine puppet sitting on the chair next to his bed. 

...to _answer_  the _puppet_  sitting on the chair.

Maybe he should open that second window after all.


End file.
